Level Complete
by TheBigCat
Summary: AMY POND used SLAP. ELEVENTH DOCTOR has been INJURED FATALLY.


TENTH DOCTOR has been poisoned by RADIATION!

TENTH DOCTOR used REGENERATION!

TENTH DOCTOR has regenerated into ELEVENTH DOCTOR!

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

PLEASE SELECT FROM QUESTS:

-Gain new companion

-Gain a bowtie

-Figure out who's been writing this insane storyline all along

GAIN NEW COMPANION selected.

THE TARDIS has crash landed!

ELEVENTH DOCTOR climbs out.

Location- Leadworth.

A WILD AMELIA POND appeared!

》》Amelia 》There is a crack in my wall! Can you help?

》》Doctor 》Don't worry, I can! Trust me, I'm the Doctor

A WILD CRACK appeared!

ELEVENTH DOCTOR used FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD!

WILD CRACK has been defeated.

COMPANION GAINED!

Unfortunately, she's only 6 years old. Oops.

THE TARDIS is malfunctioning!

》》Doctor 》I need to go! I'll be back in five minutes!

ELEVENTH DOCTOR used TARDIS!

STEVEN MOFFAT used TIMEY-WIMEY PLOT HOLE!

》》Doctor》 Oh look, I'm back!

AMELIA POND has evolved into AMY POND, SEXY GINGER!

COMPANION GAINED!

》》Amy 》Twelve years, and four psychiatrists!

AMY POND used SLAP.

ELEVENTH DOCTOR has been INJURED FATALLY.

》》Amy 》 Don't be such a baby! Take me with you!

AMY POND entered TARDIS.

DOCTOR entered TARDIS.

DOCTOR used TARDIS.

LEVEL UP. LEVEL UP.

You have gained:

-Companion (x1)

-Sonic screwdriver (x1)

-Bow tie (x1)

-Annoying boyfriend that will probably be important to the plot later on. (x1)

CONTINUE Y/N?

Your game has been saved.

* * *

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

PLEASE SELECT FROM QUESTS:  
-Travel through time

-Travel through space

-Travel through time and space

-Stay in England, 21st century, because that's clearly where all the exciting things happen

TRAVEL THROUGH SPACE AND TIME selected.

A WILD RIVER SONG appeared!

》》River 》 Hello, sweetie.

》》Doctor 》 What are you doing here?

》》River 》 I'm about to drag you on an adventure involving death defying situations. Are you okay with that?

》》Amy 》 Yes!

》》Doctor 》 No!

》》River 》 Too late!

RIVER SONG joined the party!

WEEPING ANGELS (x3) appeared!

Blink Y/N?

RIVER SONG used DON'T BLINK!

THE DOCTOR used DON'T BLINK!

AMY POND used DON'T BLINK!

AMY POND looked into a WEEPING ANGEL'S eye!

》》Amy 》 ...well, damn...

COUNTDOWN STARTED!

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

AMY POND closed her eyes!

COUNTDOWN STOPPED!

》》Amy 》 What's happening, Doctor?

RESPONSES-

-You're absolutely safe!

-You're not at all safe!

-We're all screwed and about to die!

》》Doctor 》 You're absolutely safe!

》》Amy 》 Why don't I believe you for some reason?

A WILD CRACK appeared!

Yes, it's back.

SEVERAL RANDOM MEMBERS OF CHURCH has been WIPED FROM EXISTENCE!

DOCTOR used TELEPORT.

DOCTOR used GRAVITY.

WEEPING ANGELS have been WIPED FROM EXISTENCE!

LEVEL UP. LEVEL UP.

You have gained:

-Companion's trust. (x1)

-Companion's love. (x1)

-Companion attempting to kiss you on the night before her wedding. (x1)

》》Doctor 》 What? No! Amy, get back! Stop that!

CONTINUE Y/N?

Your game has been saved.

* * *

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

PLEASE SELECT FROM QUESTS:

-Pick up annoying boyfriend that will probably be important to the plot later on.

-Keep on running.

-Defeat this week's alien.

PICK UP ANNOYING BOYFRIEND THAT WILL PROBABLY BE IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT LATER ON selected!

DOCTOR used TARDIS.

》》Doctor 》 Ah, Rory! Your girlfriend attempted to kiss me last night. She's surprisingly good at it.

RORY WILLIAMS used SLAP.

》》Doctor 》 ...you didn't need to do that.

COMPANION GAINED! RORY WILLIAMS has joined the party!

A WILD CRACK appeared!

...again! You'd think they'd be getting used to it by now.

RORY WILLIAMS has been WIPED FROM EXISTENCE!

》》Doctor 》 Well, this sucks.

RORY WILLIAMS has left the party.

PLEASE CHOOSE:

-Use superior Time Lord brain to go save him.

-Yell at Amy until she remembers.

-Do something actually _helpful_.

-Go visit Leonardo DaVinci!

GO VISIT LEONARDO DA VINCI selected!

LEVEL UP. LEVEL UP.

You have gained:

-Wedding ring (x1)

-Unwillingly amnesiac companion (x1)

-Cryptic warning about the Pandorica (x1)

CONTINUE Y/N?

Your game has been saved.

* * *

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

PLEASE SELECT FROM QUESTS:

-Find the first words in the universe

-Find Rory

-Ignore the plot and go on a holiday in the Bahamas

FIND THE FIRST WORDS IN THE UNIVERSE selected.

》》Doctor 》 Come along, Pond!

》》Amy 》 Allons-y!

》》Doctor 》 Wait, no. We're past that. Shut up!

FIRST WORDS IN THE UNIVERSE found!

》》First Words in the Universe 》 Hello, Sweetie!

》》Doctor 》 I think we have a problem.

DOCTOR entered TARDIS.

AMY POND entered TARDIS.

DOCTOR used TARDIS.

》》Rory 》 Hello, I'm back. And I'm plastic. And Roman.

RESPONSES-

-Your girlfriend doesn't remember you.

-She tried to kiss Leonardo DaVinci.

-How are you here?

-I'm just going to accept this all easily.

》》Doctor 》 I'm just going to accept this all easily.

》》Rory 》Okay.

RORY WILLIAMS shot AMY POND!

AMY POND is FATALLY INJURED and this time, she's not exaggerating.

》》Doctor 》 Shove your fiance into the Pandorica, and then you can wait for several thousand years for her to wake up.

RESPONSES-

-There's got to be an easier way!

-No way!

-Okay.

》》Rory 》Okay.

TIME has SKIPPED FORWARDS for TWO THOUSAND YEARS!

》》Doctor 》 Hello, again!

》》Rory 》 I'm not traumatized, thank you for asking.

AMY POND has exited the PANDORICA!

LEVEL UP. LEVEL UP.

You have gained:

-Happily married couple (x1)

-Something old (x1)

-Something new (x1)

-Something borrowed (x1)

-Something blue (x1)

CONTINUE Y/N?

Your game has been saved.

* * *

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

PLEASE SELECT FROM QUESTS:

-Combat

-Save Gallifrey

-More running

COMBAT selected.

IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT- ? HP

THE DOCTOR- 2357 HP

Select option:

-Do nothing

-Use Sonic

-Run!

DO NOTHING selected.

IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT used RAY GUN. (-999 HP)

GAME OVER. GAME OVER. GAME OVER.

Options:

-Retry

-Retrieve Rory

-Assume the show writers know what they're doing

-Quit

ASSUME THE SHOW WRITERS KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING selected.

GAME CONTINUES.

AMY POND met a SILENCE.

THE DOCTOR appeared

》》Amy 》So, wait... you're not dead, that alien is wearing a suit, and I'm pregnant, maybe? How do the show writers justify any of this logically?

TIME TRAVEL!

THE DOCTOR rejoined the party!  
AMY got BABY (x1)!

CONTINUE Y/N?

Your game has been saved.

* * *

Continue with saved game Y/N?

LOADING...

LOADING...

WIBBLY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY STUFF!

ELEVENTH DOCTOR has circled back to LAKE SILENCIO!

IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT- ? HP

THE DOCTOR- 2357 HP

IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT used REVEAL!

IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT is RIVER SONG!

》》River 》Hello, sweetie.

RIVER SONG used RAY GUN!

DOCTOR used ESCAPE DEATH!

It worked!

(Well, of course it worked, have you even seen _one _freaking episode of this show?)

* * *

"This game makes no bloody sense," the Doctor mumbled weakly, clicking furiously. "How do you even play it?"

"Maybe try clicking 'plot hole'?" Amy suggested, leaning over him.

"That's ridiculous, why would that even- oh."

"See?" Rory said. "There you go. All the aliens are defeated, and the characters even get a weekend's vacation in the Bahamas."

The Doctor pressed 'reset'. "That's the easy way out. I'm going to go back and torture them as much as possible."

"You're impossible," River groaned, turning away.


End file.
